Waiting...

Many times in my life, I feel like I have been waiting for what’s next. In high school, I was waiting to move out and go to college. Towards the end of college I was waiting to graduate. Before we were engaged, I was waiting for Josh to propose. Before we were married I was waiting for our wedding day. Now that I’m at the end of this pregnancy, I’m waiting for little Peter to arrive.

I often think it’s hard to focus on and enjoy what the Lord has blessed me with today. My husband reminded me yesterday that I just need to focus on the fact that today I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Today, little Peter has a strong healthy heartbeat. Today, my blood pressure is good. Today, I am healthy. Today, Peter is moving and kicking and showing miraculous signs of life. Today, I have a good job. Today, I have an amazing and supportive husband. Today I am blessed in so many ways.

This has been very difficult to focus on, especially when I am constantly bombarded each day with people saying: When are you going to have that baby? You’re still at work? When is he coming? You look like you’re ready to pop. You like you’re miserable. I can’t believe you haven’t had him yet! Any day now!, etc, etc, etc, etc. It’s this that takes my focus off of what is good and puts it back on how badly I want to meet this little boy. How uncomfortable I am. How ready I am to no longer have an inside baby, but one I can hold in my arms.

Now, I certainly can’t blame this all on other people’s comments, because I have to admit that every time I waddle to the bathroom or find it difficult to get up or look at my swollen feet, I remind myself again how ready I am.

All of this also stems from my sinful desire to be “in control.” I want to make sure I know when this will happen. I want to have my to-do list done and my ducks in a row. I get so caught up in my desires that I fail to trust in the Lord, the Creator of the World. I have to remind myself that He is in charge and He knows what is best.

Whatever you are waiting for, remember that the Lord is in control and has His own perfect timing and plan for your life.

I have to share part of a devotion I read this morning from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

“Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire. Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves. Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life. The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My Presence. Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!”

Stop waiting and focus on now.

This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.

Carly